We have heard phrases like, “Be A Man,” “Take It Like a Man,” “Man Up.” What do they really mean? Increasingly it is a moving target and more difficult to define. Yet, it is a thing. Paul wrote:
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13)
In this article we will see that the highest calling of men is to leave a legacy of faith and a life of blessing in Jesus Christ to the next generation of disciples. What does that look like and how is it accomplished? In 1 John 2, the apostle John lays out the game plan to move from boyhood to manhood--men who disciple the next generation.
John's Challenge
At the time of this writing, John is the last apostle. Part of his job in this letter is calling men to step up to lead the next generation because he know his time on this earth will be winding down. He is passing on the baton of faith to the next generation, but they need to be ready for the hand off. The stakes were high. The battle of the church in that generation (after Paul) is the heresy of Gnosticism. Gnosticism claimed that Jesus was not really human. Jesus' physical body was like a hologram, it only appeared real but was not. John opposes this heresy in the strongest terms, calling the Gnostic advocates, antichrist:
2 Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world. (1 John 4:2-3)
The implication of Gnosticism is that your body doesn’t matter. What is important is your soul. They, much like our culture today, separated the soul and identity (gender) from biology (sex). When this occurs it leads to a disorientation like an astronaut being untethered from his spaceship. You don't know which way is up. As the church is in this fight, John addresses men to step up. In just three verses (short and sweet) in 1 John 2:12-14, John shows the way to disciple men and the clear markers to know what it looks like. He addresses children, young men and fathers.
The Way to Disciple Men
12 I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
13 I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.
14 I write to you, dear children, because you know the Father. I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
Here John give us timeless wisdom on how to disciple men as men:
Be encouraging. This is what John is. In these verses he tells men what they are doing that is right. In our society men are bombarded with negative messages of their toxicity and failures. Further, they are shown little appreciation. John, instead, affirms and builds on their strengths.
Bottom line it. John gets to the point without jabbing men with it. Men need practical application.
Repeat but don't nag. John repeats for emphasis, but he doesn’t over do it. There is a difference between nudging and pushing.
Provide a path forward. John provides a path, a game plan to make progress. Men need next steps not vague ideas. John shows three phases to this path.
Phase # 1: Forgiveness
I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. (2:12)
I write to you, dear children, because you know the Father. (2:14)
The foundation of maturity is that you know the forgiveness of Christ. You know God as your Father. Though you have failures, you know you are released from the past to walk forward in the present. This is critical. If you do not believe that God unconditionally has your back, then you cannot walk in trust. A man needs to be able to call God, "Father" and know that God hears, listens and responds to him simply because he is a son.
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” (Galatians 4:6)
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15)
The expression Abba, Father was a very childlike expression. Many times the first or early words out of a child’s mouth are "Da or DaDa." When a young child says those words, he does so simply because they are in a relationship with his father. No rules that you followed got you there. No rules you follow keep you there. There is nothing more important than in the failures, the wear and tear, the hardships, and the regrets of life than to hear words from God:
“You are valued!”
“You are loved!”
“You are my son who I gave my life!”
“Your purpose is not over!”
“Let’s keep going!”
Phase # 2: Fortitude
When I was a kid, I wore a brand of blue jeans called Toughskins. Those jeans came with
a money-back guarantee that kids would outgrow them before they outwore them. Men move from boys to men when they toughen up. They need to thicken their skin without hardening their heart.
I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. (2:13)
I write to you, young men, because you are strong... (2:14)
These young men have overcome the evil one. Manhood is forged in battle and adversity. It takes a real toughness and drive to love a wife, build a home, raise children and establish a career and fight all of the battles which come with it. Too many men are saying, "I don’t do responsibility." If you do not do responsibility , then you do the demonic. Paul says it this way:
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)
Kenneth Taylor paraphrased Proverbs 16:27 this way:
Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece.
Men are like trucks; they travel straighter when they are loaded with more responsibility.
Here is David on his death bed as he passes the baton of leadership to Solomon:
2 When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. “I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, act like a man, 3 and observe what the Lord your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go. (1 Kings 2:2-4)
The strength of a man is not about how much he can bench-press or how far he can throw a football. It is measured by his strength to abide in God’s Word and overcome evil to accomplish the mission God has given to him.
Phase # 3: Fatherhood
I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. (2:13)
To know God, who is from the beginning, means you are starting to see the BIGNESS of God. You have been through several battles, and your faith has deepened because you see how God has led you through each one, and that your life is part of a larger story that God is writing. Like a father, your focus is on raising up the next generation of disciples. One of the greatest verses for spiritual fathers is found in 2 Timothy:
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. (2 Timothy 2:2)
Spiritual fathers have been to war and have the scars to prove it. They no longer feel the need to make a name for themselves.
Spiritual fathers have learned from the hardships on the battlefield, and now they have expertise to pass along wisdom to disciple.
Spiritual fathers understand the supremacy of God. It is not about what they have done. It is what they have seen God do.
Spiritual fathers are stable and reliable. They have learned to patiently harness their strength for the broader good. They understand deeply the wisdom of Solomon when he wrote:
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (Proverbs 16:32)
What are the next steps?
Open up.
Joe Ehrmann, an NFL player, who finished his football career for the Detroit Lions, gave a TED talk that has been viewed more than half a million times. In it he states that, “The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to ‘be a man.’” For too many, "to be a man," means to stuff your feelings, turn off your emotions, don’t be a sissy. The biblical vision is quite different. In contrast to never being weak or vulnerable, the biblical vision is that men own their weakness, and it drives them in repentance to the Father heart of God. Paul describes candidly his struggle with a part of his life that he could not conquer—what he calls his thorn in the flesh. We do not know what his thorn was, but three times he asked God to remove it. God responds:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
No man can be in control of everything that happens to him. But in everything that happens, he can turn to God for strength.
Joseph was stripped of his position as the favored son and endured the humiliation of slavery and imprisonment before he was equipped for a high position in the Egyptian government (Genesis 37).
Saul was blinded before he realized that his zeal to defeat the early church was wrong and misguided (Acts 9).
Peter had to repent of his betrayal of Jesus before he could be given the commission by Jesus to “feed my sheep” (John 21).
The tax collector Zacchaeus had to repent of his corrupt financial practices and make restitution to those he had cheated before he could be a disciple (Luke 19).
David was a powerful military leader, yet he writes of his own pain:
6 All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. 7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow. (Psalm 6:6–7)
As men who are followers of Jesus, we need to be open about our pain. Some men are in the place of just piecing some of their past hurts and struggles together in view of God's grace. They need to learn to be spiritual children who come to terms and acceptance with the unconditional love of the Father. These men need brothers who have been there and can listen to them on their journey.
Step up.
Our world today prolongs immaturity. It prolongs the adolescent mentality.
We want joy without sacrifice.
We want character without suffering.
We want success without failure.
We want gain without pain.
We want a testimony without the test.
We want it all, without going all in.
There are men who need to be challenged to get in the arena and fight. They need to move on from spiritual boyhood to manhood. There are other men who are older and more experienced and need an encore. They need to know their life is not over, but that they can be spiritual fathers to the next generation. They have a testimony of God’s faithfulness to pass on to the next generation.
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